The Oblong Table

Please be seated my comrades.

I have a very serious topic to discuss with you this day... *cautiously peers behind his back*

... Garden Gnomes.

Hoe had left her gun hoe at the door out of courtesy, and it didn't make the feeling of imminent danger any more tolerable.

The whites of her knuckles showed at she seated herself with a slight curtsy, her jaw slightly agape as she glanced across the room.

She wasn't usually the type to hold her opinion, but the subject matter had left her speechless.

"Garden gnomes, you don't say..." strokes his beard stubble.

As you may be aware, Garden Gnomes have plagued our society for as long as we have kept gardens.

They appear cheerful, almost... happy to guard our gardens from the likes of stray cats and rabid possums. But the truth is they are manipulative and have sinister plans that may affect the very fabric of our society!

Kindly peruse this evidence I have been afforded (artists impressions):


To make matters worse I believe they have infiltrated the gardens of Groovinborough Manor.

This is completely unacceptable, I want you all to weed out those midgets and send them back to parliament! Our very lives may depend on your actions.

Hoe gasped as she perused the pictures. A gardener herself, she was no stranger to these strange creatures, but seeing them now brought chills to her spine.

She looked up to the Earl, speechless.